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 Some Conclusions I Have

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Spyridon
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PostSubject: Some Conclusions I Have   Mon Jan 17, 2011 3:17 am

"Some Conclusions I Have Drawn from Reading Fanfiction"
by DukeBrymin

1) Any time a summary says "better than it sounds!", it isn't.

2) Any time a summary says "first fic, please be gentle!", it's because the writer, deep inside, knows it's not very good.

3) Any summary starting with "What if. . ." describes a story that is mediocre at best.

4) Any author that posts a new chapter that consists of an apology that a new chapter isn't ready yet, deserves to be flogged with a wet noodle.

5) Any author that promises to never abandon a(ny) story, and then does, should be covered in honey and feathers.

6) Any author that feels the need to label a flashback as FLASHBACK, desperately needs to work on their writing skills. If it's not obvious, then there's a problem.

7) Any author that feels the need to insert author's notes in the middle of their chapter to explain or excuse things, should have to wear a sign saying "Look at me! I want to be an author when I grow up!" because they obviously crave attention.

Cool If the author can't be bothered to spell-check the summary, then the story will be so filled with bad spelling, grammar, and punctuation that you'll want to stab yourself in the eyes with a sharpened pencil.

9) Authors who feel the need to "update" their fandom by using netspeak (e.g. LOL, N-E-Way) and its ilk have completely missed the feel and characterization of the characters.

10) Authors who can't even capitalize the name of their story correctly have a better-than-average chance of writing just as poorly.

11) "Free verse" translates as "I can't be bothered to use proper grammar and punctuation."

12) Authors who beg for reviews but never bother responding to them probably don't worry about other things like plot holes.

13) All general statements have exceptions.

"Additional Conclusions"
Compiled by Spyridon
*I had to add my own as I think there were definitely more.


14) When authors state a pairing then switch pairings to the author's OTP right in the middle of the story.
~ Spyridon

15) Having a lead character suffer through one or more horrible physical traumas for no good reason. Whumping just for the sake of whumping.
~ Maureen Thayer

16) Not doing any research at all on a subject (ex. real-life medical diseases, canon plot details, real life information on countries, etc) that the author knows nothing about because they are either too lazy or didn't think it would matter.
~ Maureen Thayer

17) Characters that are so out of character that you have to wonder if the author watched the same TV show/movie/play or read the same book/comic/manga you did and they have no really plausible explanation (ex. torture, betrayal etc) to the change in character in the story itself.
~ Maureen Thayer

18) Mary Sues, especially those that are so blatantly Mary Sues that you can tell just from the summary.
~ Maureen Thayer

19) So-called chapters that are around the length of a drabbles and are not stated to be drabbles.
~ Maureen Thayer

20) When authors add really long story notes at the bottom of the chapters and leave them there, screwing the word count.
~ Spyridon

21) When people abuse the profile page (especially on ff.net) by adding spam, such as poems (ex. regarding homosexuality, school violence, etc), 'if this describes you, repost this in your profile'. and other such things. Profiles are for short basic summaries about yourself as an author/reader, news on your stories, and anything else of great importance to your writing (ex. real life issues and hiatus news)
~ Spyridon

22) ?

If you have any more pet peeves regarding fanfiction, feel free to add your own in comments. I would like to know what you think. I guess you can take thi

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